The Others, The Rakes

Jared O'Mara 21/01/2005

'Twas the night before G Spot, when all through the GodIsInTheTV forum, Every creature was buzzing with anticipation, even those that weren't going, like Sarah. And what did this daft, yet marvelously dapper and handsome, ginger do? He went to see the feckin others.

Three words for starters:

Height.Of. Shite.

1 word for Masters:


The support came from the Rakes (who I went specifically to see, but missed cos they were on 7.20-7.40pm as a result of it being a 14 year olds and upwards gig- that ugly, bald, paedo-esque Others' guitarist has gotta get laid somehow) and Ludes (who had some good songs but an unintentionally camp singer who was like a toddler on e-numbers).

Some choice quotes/events/things of note from the Others:

1. Masters: I've heard the aftershow party venue ( Club Aqua) has a swimming pool*1. Do you reckon there'll let us get pissed and do loads of coke and have a swim?

2. Drummer: come to the aftershow party, I'll buy you all a beer

Masters: He doesn't mean it: we aint a rich band, we earn 250 a week*2

3. The non-bald paedo-esque guitarist tries to look like Robert Smith of the Cure*3

4. They did a little rendition of Combine Harvester by the Worzels, presumably being Ironic as a result of the furor over Masters' posh Somerset background. They thought this was really cool, clever and funny*4

5. At the end they let everyone on stage for their final song, This is For The Poor*5

6. According to their song, Mr Masters doesn't want to be a 'Lackey'*6

To Summarise, I shall quote Sunderland's finest the Futureheads (for no other reason than they're a better band than the Others - which isn't hard):

It was a piece of crap, PIECE OF CRAP

*1: It doesn't have a swimming pool. That's Ponds Forge, the internationally famous sports' centre, which is above the club

*2: That's about 500 too much by my reckoning

*3 But he looks more like a hybrid of a Gothic Scarecrow and Liza Minnelli (like she is now, rather than in Cabaret)

*4: It wasn't. Trust me.

*5: well about 12 14/15 year old boys and girls who'd evidently never been to a gig before and had drunk lots of 20:20 and White Lightening and we're very excited (bless). Bald, Paedo-esque guitarist was lovin' it (*shudders*)

*6: But of course he is a Lackey, a Lackey to hard drugs and the Crap London Band Bandwaggon. I reckon he's currently 7 minutes into his 15 minutes of fame. There's life in the old 'I'm a friend of Pete Doherty' routine yet, especially as Pete is currently nobbing Kate Moss. Enjoy your remaining 8 minutes, Mr Masters, before you rightfully become what you were born to be: dead (you sad, hard-drug advocating, talentless cunt).